


Me, Too

by JuxtaposeFantasy



Series: Philkas Fooling Around [1]
Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: First Time Blow Jobs, M/M, Philkas - Freeform, Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-03
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-09-06 06:41:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8738701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JuxtaposeFantasy/pseuds/JuxtaposeFantasy
Summary: Philip and Lukas spent the night in New York. So what happened?





	

**Author's Note:**

> My little attempt to keep the Philkas fandom going.

"So what's it like, having people know?"

They were in Queens, in the living room of an older friend of Philip's who worked the night shift at the Port Authority. Booking a hotel room had been out of the question, but this was good enough as a place to crash. It kept them out of Tivoli, anyway, which for Philip was the whole point of this excursion.

From where he sat on the floor, leaning against the sofa, he looked up at Lukas. The other boy was at the window, looking out at the street that was painted orange-gold beneath the streetlight. It wasn't the best neighborhood, but they weren't going out so it was fine. The light illuminated Lukas' tortured expression. Philip's chest hurt on his behalf.

"It's no big deal," he said with a shrug, through Lukas wouldn't see it. "It's not like people ask or care when they figure it out. It just is."

"No one's ever called you names?"

Philip picked at the hem of his jeans. "Yeah, but so what? They're not my friends so I just ignore them. I only care what my friends think."

"Like your friend whose place this is?" Lukas finally turned away from the window. "Who does that? Just let someone stay in their place while they're gone?"

Philip grinned. "A friend, duh. It's not like I'm going to trash the place. Or let you do it."

"Did you and he ever..." Lukas trailed off, Adam's apple bobbing before he turned back to the window.

Philip had wondered when Lukas would bring up the subject of his past. Especially after Philip had shown him the condom. And now that Philip had confessed he'd never used one before he was sure Lukas was curious about what he _had_ done. It was why Philip had mentioned it, after all. He wanted Lukas to be intrigued.

"We fooled around once or twice," he hedged.

"Really?" Lukas sounded shocked. But the expression on his face belied something else. "Well...what did you do?"

"Things," Philip said, teasing him.

Lukas made a face. "Like, what things?" He left the window to drop into the room's ratty recliner. His foot rested a few inches from Philip's knee. "Did you blow him?"

Philip smiled slightly to himself, making sure Lukas wouldn't see. "I may have. And other stuff."

"Did he—did he do it to you? Blow you?"

Though the question had been expected, Philip _hadn't_ expected the surge of lust that accompanied it. He shifted slightly, though his jeans were too tight to grant him any relief no matter how he contorted himself.

"Yeah," he said, his voice roughening slightly.

From the corner of his eye he watched Lukas lean forward and rest his elbows on his knees. "Did you like it?"

Philip snorted and shot him a look. "What do you think?"

"I don't know what to think. No one's ever done it to me."

"Not even Rose?"

Lukas waved impatiently. "No."

Philip swallowed hard, knowing his hand was on a door and he could either open it or keep it shut. Which would be safer for his heart? How much more rejection could he take?

"Come on," Lukas urged.

Philip mentally crossed his fingers and opened the door.

"It was good," he said softly. His cheeks began to heat. He couldn't raise his eyes to Lukas'. "Kind of mind-blowing. Someone's mouth is...really soft. And, um, wet."

Lukas made a choked sound which made everything below Philip's waist seem to swell and throb. Philip began to question the wisdom of saying so much. He knew Lukas wasn't ready for sex. This would only be torture for both of them.

"What else?" Lukas whispered. "Was he, like, on his knees or—?"

"No. We were in bed. Me on the bottom...like when we were in the cabin."

That wasn't true. Philip had been leaning against the wall of the school gym, but he wanted Lukas to imagine that it was the two of them. He wanted Lukas to realize how close they had been to doing the same thing. Just another few minutes and it might have happened. And everything might be different now.

Lukas breathed loudly in the room, as though he couldn't hear himself. But Philip could, and it made him hard. It was a powerful feeling to know someone wanted you as badly as he could tell Lukas wanted him. It made him feel good. Made him feel special.

It also hurt like hell. He shoved a hand between his legs and ground the heel of his palm against himself. He heard Lukas suck in his breath when he noticed.

"Tell me more," Lukas whispered, sounding almost fearful.

Philip licked his lips. He couldn't look at the other boy as he said, "He just put his head down there. Between my legs. And he...breathed on me for a little bit. Like, blew over the tip." He shuddered as he imagined it, only with Lukas doing it, his loud breathing. "Then he—he licked it. Me."

"Oh, god," he heard Lukas whisper.

The heat in Philip's face migrated down his throat and to his chest. He pressed harder against the placket of his jeans but it didn't do much to relieve the painful ache. He held his breath for a moment and then thought, _fuck it_. He yanked open the snap on his jeans and sighed as he slid his zipper down enough for him to slide his hand inside.

"Are you—"

"Yeah," he groaned softly as he took himself in hand. He bit his lip and said as casually as he could, "You should, too. It'll feel better."

He waited for the explosive denial. Lukas was good at those. But Lukas was apparently as strung out as he was. A shift, the rasp of a zipper, and then Lukas' heartfelt moan slid through the room.

"Keep—keep going," Lukas urged.

Philip closed his eyes. He could picture it perfectly: Lukas' delicate wrist bones moving in and out of his opened jeans as he jacked himself. Lukas' blue eyes, clenched tight, expressions of agony and relief battling on his thin face. Philip wished he could kiss away that strain and leave the other boy with only pleasure. He wished he could do something that would convince Lukas that none of this wrong, that all of it was good.

"When he put his mouth on me," Philip said softly, "I put my hands in his hair. I remember thinking how weird it was, that his hair could be that soft while he was doing that to me. It—I don't know—it was weird to me in that moment."

Lukas' whisper was barely audible. "How did it feel? Not the hair, I mean."

"Awesome," Philip whispered back. He opened his eyes and stared at the threadbare carpet beneath him, his hand slowing. "And vulnerable. It's something I only want to do with someone I trust." _Someone I care about._

"I wouldn't hurt you."

Philip held his breath, afraid to turn his head and look up at Lukas, afraid to break the other boy's courage.

"I never wanted to hurt you, Philip. All the things I've done—that wasn't me. I mean, it was me, but—"

"I know. It's okay. I'd never hurt you, either."

"Do you think—" Lukas hesitated for a long time, so long that Philip began to believe he wouldn't finish his sentence. "Do you think I would be any good at it?"

Philip tipped his head back and breathed through his open mouth. His erection pulsed within his hand. "Yeah," he gasped. "I think you'd be great at it."

Fabric rustling. The urgent slide of flesh over flesh. Lukas' breath climbing higher, harsher, needier.

"I never thought about it," Lukas admitted in a husky voice. "Until you."

The need clawing at Philip's insides was sweet torture. He wished he could rise up and boldly tell Lukas to stop thinking about and just do it. Now was the perfect time. 

But deep down, he understood that if and when it happened, Lukas would need to be the one to cross that bridge. Lukas was the one at risk of losing things, so he had to be the one to decide to make that sacrifice. 

That didn't mean Philip couldn't tug him along.

"I think about it, too, sometimes," he murmured, daring a quick glance at Lukas. He was startled by the intent, hungry expression on the other boy's face. Lukas looked ready to tackle him and Philip wanted him to. "I think about a lot of things," he rushed to add. "I'd let you do anything."

"I don't know if I want to do everything." Lukas grimaced and his hand moved faster inside his jeans. "But there are things...yeah."

"Kissing me," Philip said, holding his gaze, refusing to let him go. "Touching me. Putting your mouth on me."

Lukas made another face, but he didn't shake his head, didn't issue a denial.

"I'd let you put your mouth on me," Philip whispered. "And I'd put my mouth on you."

Blue eyes immediately jumped to his mouth and Philip had to swallow a moan. He licked his lips while Lukas stared at them and said, "Do you want me to?"

Lukas let out a squeak. His hand moved faster. Taking that as implied permission, Philip pulled his hand out from his jeans. He rose up onto his knees.

Lukas froze, his eyes darting like a corner rabbit's from Philip's mouth to the opened V of his jeans. "W-What are you doing?"

"What you want me to," Philip replied, feeling bold and kind of sexy. Most of the time Lukas held the cards in their relationship. But in this, Philip had the advantage. 

He slid his hands over Lukas' knees but did nothing more. "Don't you?" he asked with a questioning tilt of his head. "Want me to?"

Lukas swallowed hard. Then did it again. He stared at Philip's mouth. "I've thought about it. A lot. I'm sorry. It's just your lips...they kinda make it hard not to."

Philip smiled a little. "More like they just make it hard."

Lukas blinked and then he laughed. "Ha-ha."

"I want you to put it in my mouth," Philip told him, his heart pounding.

Another pained expression crossed Lukas' face. "Dude, you can't say something like that."

"Why not?" Philip took a chance and began sliding his hands up Lukas' thighs. The muscles quivered beneath his palms. "It's the truth. And I know you want it, too. You said so."

"M-Maybe."

Lukas' hands sort of fell away when Philip reached the waistband of his jeans. The heat rising up from the fabric was feverish and it grew even hotter when Philip reached inside and carefully eased Lukas out. A moment's fear warred with growing wonder and hunger as Philip looked at him. He'd done this only once before. He was pretty sure he hadn't felt this way then.

"You should—" He licked his lips nervously. "You should put your hands on my head."

"O-Okay."

The tentative weight of Lukas' palms on the back of his head sent lust pouring through Philip. He whimpered softly before lowering his head, his lips brushing the silken tip of Lukas. Wetness had already dewed there. He tasted it, afraid he wouldn't like it, but it was fine. Not gross or anything. He took a breath, and began to lick.

Lukas cried out. It was the single most amazing sound that Philip had ever heard. As his confidence grew, he began to explore, licking all around Lukas' shaft and nuzzling deeper into the curls nestled at the base. In his head he thought, _I've got my mouth on Lukas. He's letting me!_ The feeling of pride was strong, but not nearly as powerful as the desire that rushed throughout his body, making his limbs tremble and his head grow dizzy. He was sure he might die from the intensity of this feeling. It made him feel kind of crazy, like he had to touch and taste as much of Lukas as he could. He licked harder and even tried sucking.

The fingers in his hair suddenly pulled tight, sending a strange zing down to his erection. Lukas cried out again. Heat burst across Philip's lips, some of it dribbling inside his mouth, the rest of it streaking his cheek. 

He froze, shocked, but then the reality of the moment hit him. He groaned and frantically shoved a hand into his own jeans. He jacked himself as he licked the slick from his lips and listened to Lukas panting. _I did that. I did that._ A few strokes was all it took before Philip pressed his forehead to Lukas' lower belly and came all over his hand.

As he kneeled there, trembling from the aftershocks, he felt Lukas tenderly stroking his hair. Fingers grazed Philip's temples. The caress was so gentle it made Philip shut his eyes to hold back burgeoning tears. He hadn't realized until this moment how lonely he'd been since moving to Tivoli. He'd forgotten how long it had been since someone had touched him with affection. Or with love.

"I'm sorry I didn't, uh, warn you," Lukas mumbled. He slid long fingers beneath Philip's jaw and urged him to tilt his face up. When he did, Lukas winced. "Aw, dude, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to—"

Philip slid his tongue along his lips, catching the jizz that clung there. Lukas' eyes bulged and his breathing sped up as he watched Philip taste him.

"Jesus," he breathed. His fingers tightened in Philip's hair and along his jaw. "If you knew what you look like..."

"Do you like it?"

Lukas pursed his lips, but then nodded emphatically. A rueful grin broke over his face. "Hell, yeah."

As Philip laughed, Lukas stroked along his cheeks. "You're kinda beautiful for a guy."

"Oh, yeah?" Philip gave him a coy look. 

"Yeah." Heat darkened Lukas' eyes before he bent down and pressed his lips to Philip's. "You taste weird, though."

"I taste like you," Philip breathed into the kiss. "Maybe someday you'll taste like me."

Lukas shivered against him, but he didn't pull away. Instead, his thin arms tightened around Philip's shoulders. "Come up here. Let's just sit for now."

Philip had no problem with that. They found the remote and they watched some late night. An hour or so later, just as his eyelids began to drag down, he heard Lukas mumble.

"I used to think that you coming to Tivoli was the worst thing that happened to me."

Philip said nothing. Waiting. Worrying. After several moments, Lukas' arms enclosed him in an embrace.

"Now I think it's kinda the best."

Philip closed his eyes and thought, _Me, too._

**Author's Note:**

> Check out my site if you want to know more about me and my writing http://www.triciaowensbooks.com


End file.
